Hurt Versus Injured

This has, perhaps, been the most difficult post to write because it means that I've had to resign myself to being out of commission for a while.  First, the back story: last Wednesday I met with Danny and Brian to do an interval track workout that they have been doing for a while now. We jogged a bit, went through a series of 100 meter track exercises, some burpees, some standing box jumps (although these weren't really box jumps because we were jumping up onto a low wall), ran some more, did some stairs, and then went to another series of 100 meter track exercises.  There were various exercises on the track, and I won't bore anyone with what each 100 meter activity was, but each time around the track included a 100 meter sprint.  Our goal was to have run each track activity 8 times total.  All was going well, until the final sprint.  About half way through, I felt a pop and went down like a sack of wet oatmeal.  I'm pretty sure that I knew it was bad before I even hit the ground (which, luckily was wet so I didn't end up with any road rash from sliding and rolling to a stop).  To both Danny and Brian's credit, both of them stopped to see how I was rather than finish their sprint - and more importantly, neither of them raised the X on me (even though this would have been the ideal time to do it for a good laugh).

Doesn't look that bad, does it?

Anyone who has been involved with any kind of intense exercise will know the difference between being hurt and being injured.  Being hurt means you rub some dirt on it and keep going.  Maybe you have to rest for a little while.  Maybe you have to rest for a long while.  But the end result is that you're more or less whole and just have to either adjust to the pain or wait for the pain to go away.  Being injured, on the other hand, is something that puts you out of action for a while.  Perhaps it requires a cast.  Maybe it requires a surgery.  Maybe there's some physical therapy involved.  Well, it looks like all three of those things are on my To Do list.

I've got the diagnosis, and an MRI, and I've been told that I have either a complete or near complete tear of my left Achilles tendon along with a complete tear of my Talofibular ligament.  I see the orthopedic surgeon tomorrow, and will know more about the next steps after that appointment.  I'm steeling myself for the surgery that I expect to come sometime in the next week.

This is what I think of my MRI

Obviously, I'm disappointed.  The funny thing about it, though, is that the physical pain isn't all that bad.  It didn't even really hurt that much when it happened.  Trying to walk on it is a different story, but as long as I'm not trying to stand on my toes, then there isn't any physical pain.  I'm taking medicine to combat swelling, but I don't need it for pain relief. There is, however, the disappointment of missing events with my Mudder Brudders, and I'm not sure how I'll feel seeing them finish events without me, tell me stories of the crazy folks that they've met (on and off the course), and see them progress - all while I go through the inevitable physical therapy to rebuild my leg.  Don't get me wrong, I wish them both the best...I just wish I could be there to witness and be part of it.

I've never been injured like this before.  I had a knee surgery in 2008, but that was before I started getting in shape so it was mostly an inconvenience.  I got to spend some time in my bed strapped to a CPM machine, but otherwise I wasn't missing out on much.  This is different.  This injury will put me out of commission for the Virginia Beach Mudder at a minimum.  That fact alone is bad enough, but it gets worse because there's no set recovery time.  I've read that it can be as little as 4 months and as much as a year.  My goal is to recover in time to do the Seattle event at the beginning of October, follow that up with the Mid-Atlantic mudder at the end of October, and be ready for WTM in November.  That would put me at about the 6 month mark from the injury, and I may be being naive to think that it's possible, but at this point I have to have a goal to work towards.  Without that goal, I may just give up, eat Mudslide Ice Cream, and gain back the 40 lbs I've lost.

There's no lessons here for education or leadership - at least not yet.  I'm still processing the event, and although I'll doubtlessly learn lessons from the recovery, I'm just in the early stages of coming to terms with what has happened.  I won't lie...it's been emotional, but it's also not the worst thing that could ever happen to me.  Lots of people have it worse than I do, and this injury is something that I will recover from.  It may not be quickly, but eventually I'll be as good as I was before. If I don't recover in time for WTM 2013 then 2014 better watch out because I'll be pissed about missing out.