Take Control

If the purpose of this blog is to lay out the lessons that we've learned about leadership, education, and life in general from training for and participating in Tough Mudders, then I guess the biggest lesson that I've learned is that it's on us to make the changes that we want to see.  Danny hit it right on the nose when he compared the TM to playing golf.  As collaborative a venture as it is, the reality is that it is a challenge between me and the course.  Every success (and failure) I have on a Tough Mudder course starts with my own initiative, hard work, effort and skill.  The collaboration may be the thing that gets me over that last little bit, but it would be useless if I didn't put the work in ahead of time. 

In adapting this concept to my life outside of TM, I have started to see that if I want things to happen in my life, I can't wait for outside forces to make them happen.  I have to take the initiative and lead the way.  For example, in my professional life, it is expected that I write and publish academic papers.  I will admit that I've had trouble with this in the past because I'm not a natural writer and the process always seemed sort of "opaque" concerning how to make this happen.  However, I've started to see that my perceptions were the result of seeing the process as separate from myself.  I was waiting for the papers to write themselves, and disappointed with myself when they didn't.  In reality, I was right in being disappointed in myself, but it was for the wrong reason.  I should have been disappointed that I didn't take the initiative to get the papers written.  The same can be said for grants and consulting.  In the past, I was disappointed that I wasn't getting grants or consulting gigs or jobs because they weren't coming to me (for whatever reason).  Now, I understand that if I want to have those things happen, I have to make them happen.

Of course, all of this sounds very trite and smacks of lessons that every self-help book will give.  Perhaps it is, and that none of this is earth-shattering in its insight.  Of course, it's easy to say that from this side of having learned that lesson.  I know lots of people who sit and complain about things not working out for themselves - all the while, waiting for some mythical outside force to make things right.  This was me for a long time...I waited for things to come to me and was disappointed when they didn't.  In reality, I should have been disappointed that I wasn't out there making things happen.

Just to be clear, though, this doesn't mean that I'm a proponent of rugged individualism where everyone is out for themselves and doesn't worry about anyone else.  The fact is, I would probably have stopped running mudders after the first one if Danny and Brian hadn't been up for more.  The competition and collaboration that I've found in these two guys has pushed me further than I would have imagined possible, but that possibility wouldn't have been met if I hadn't decided to get prepared and meet the challenges that we've set for ourselves.